Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
