your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He had one of those small greek statue penises
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
