what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
