ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
