I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize