i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
