And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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