she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
