I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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