I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
