We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize