Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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