i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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