please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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