Say something about gay babies.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
