Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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