her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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