you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
bring money and cleavage
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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