Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
