I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
