We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
