Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
