please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
