I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize