Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
