bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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