So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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