you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
