who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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