Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
