oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i think i have herpe
just one?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
