Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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