I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Randomize
