Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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