my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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