Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
