Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
