Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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