Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize