she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Shame - the story of my life.
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