Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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