Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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