i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
