we're blogging at a bar
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We have started to decorate penises.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
