It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
