My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
