READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
