As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
