toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
