I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize