The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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