It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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