ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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