We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
