Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize