She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
dude. I can hear the air.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize