we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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