Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
