I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
