Joe is yelling at the trees again.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
