I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
