I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
