After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize