Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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