We should be called the Road Head Warriors
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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