and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
