Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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